“I have done a lot for my family! You know, how much I cared for them in their younger days....struggled and given them the maximum and was with them every minute….Now they are saying that I did not care enough! No doubt, they have some problems but that cannot be the reason to point out! See, all of them are settled, totally on their own and living independently! Is that not enough? This way, it is really a sad remark for an old parent!" thus lamented a man of fifties one evening in front of a well-wisher about his grown up children....
The well-wisher, a deep thinker in his life could easily understand the agony of his friend. He comforted him for a while and said thus, “My Dear, with your permission I wish to clarify here a little even though it is of no help now. Please listen carefully....No doubt, you did a wonderful job by caring for your family! But my question is….Have you overdone that a little? See, my help is the utmost required for my people when they are growing.... to say rightly, help and service are the not the words; my sincere work is required for my people when they are young and I should do it one hundred percent! Anything less, here would hamper the growth of the young as it would be a deficiency in their lives. But any excess too hampers the growth as it like giving food to their mouth and they take life easy and so never learn or attempt to learn. Here the right support with reasonable resources alone is the best course of action….
The problem is, when the possessive feeling is strong in me, I'll provide an excess support without getting into details whether it is required or not….Here, a feeling that 'My fellow should have the best' over takes! When lesser interest prevails in me due to some peculiar conditions then important care would be missing as the approach becomes casual....It is difficult to have a true yard stick in this regard. As long as the parent neither reacts nor takes it easy, what appeals to him/her mostly is the appropriate care to be carried out with his/her own reasonable resources and energies. In such cases, even though there are problems for the grown ups in their lives, they correctly understand that it is either their fate or their own make but never feel even a little that the parent had left something undone!
If done In this way alone, the parental care will be truly recognized!”