Can I truly feel 'Lighter' in my life?

“I am fed up with the attitude of my grown up family members....See, Sir!  We, as elders try to tell them in their interest but they never listen to the 'good' in that for them!   Instead, each of them questions back, ‘Why can't I do this way?'   Indirectly, they want an approval for their doing!  Tomorrow, if they really get into a problem, every one suffers….Then, what is the use of their decisions without any backup of the right wisdom?  I feel sad seeing all this happening in front of me!” thus spoke a man of fifties to an elderly well- wisher of his family regarding certain problems at his home…..

The well-wisher, happened to be a man of wisdom who had dealt with many similar situations, comforted him and said, “My dear! What you say is a fact and I one hundred percent agree that the young family members, at times take wrong decisions and suffer in their life... It is truly wisdom that they listen to their elders and the elders should and must show their resentment and if required resort to non co-operation to see that the young with them do not go ahead with certain proposals where the danger is imminent.... But there is a fine line of division here….” the well-wisher paused and continued…. “The family members under our care have their own freedom of expression and that should always be honored by us, without a say! This freedom with them makes them see new things around through their own perception which we, as elders may not be interested in that direction…. Are we able to see this quality in them and give all support to it, both sides never crossing the fine lines of law and basic ethics?   Here alone lies the openness of elders / caretakers and if really, the we are ready to accept such proposals from the young, the young themselves carry  their true respect towards us.  Being a caretaker, my responsibility truly vests here the maximum!” 

While leaving the well-wisher remarked, “It is wisdom with me to see as much as possible that the family members never belong to me but are only positioned by the Almighty under my care for their growth / betterment  and it is a duty with me to do my best there!  Let me be doing this alone with all my energies and resources within the boundaries of legal and ethical actions where in I will be simultaneously caring for the Society and surroundings….Having done that way…That’s all….At the end of the day, let me feel the Lightness of life which ultimately is the true outcome of such actions!

True Winning Strategy….

“Sir! I firmly believe that we should be fighting out continuously to see that no one rules us easily....Let it be the boss at work, the neighbor or  the man of prominence in our day to day activities including sometimes a close family member. If we don’t do that, soon the other person overrides us, in no time makes us powerless....In that condition, a life below dignity surfaces and continues depending on other circumstances. I should never allow this in my life if I call myself courageous....

But I am seeing a problem in this fight….If I do this way firmly, many times the opponent is forced to keep quite and would behave well within the limits, but a few times the whole plan can turn back and work on me itself!  And, in such a situation, I would really be feeling miserable as I have to accept a defeat here....Further, as I would not be totally getting away from the other person, it may become an ‘Ease’ with the other person in respect of me.... How can I avoid such pitfalls in my day to day interactions but still fight and express myself the right way?”

“My Dear! No doubt winning over is heroism and definitely a strategy is needed to fight any war towards the victory….Let us get into a little introspection here….

As we can see, in every conflict, there are always two primary issues to be addressed or to be corrected….these are.... 

1. My ‘Right’ is affected when the other individual has exceeded the limit or
2. I exceeded the limit and the ‘Right’ of other individual is affected. 

When these limits are seen distinctly by any one of the two contestants , the rights of both individuals would be better upheld, more peace reigns instantly as the conflict truly comes down…..

But, here I cannot and I should never ask the other man to change and if I mean it, I can change myself without an iota of dignity lost when my ‘self’ would accommodate the other individual a little more….With this, peace is restored in no time and none of my ‘Rights’ are truly sacrificed….Meaning, I see here my 'Right' as different as I, simultaneously see there a responsibility too….

This is similar to the way a parent solves a problem the ward brings in not a lesser one but within certain limits….Instead of getting into verbal questing and trying to prove something unnecessarily, the parent sincerely rectifies the situation in the first instance itself in the best possible way and thus takes care of the issue in a true spirit….This type of attitude to some extent, certainly is the responsibility of an Elite Member of a Group where ultimately that Group’s well being is part of own well being….

With this attitude, still the war may go on but silently and peacefully and in such a scenario a 'Win-Win' situation prevails or so to say ‘No winning but Living alone’ continues!

Everything rots in time!

A King was interested to see that all his plans were implemented in the best possible way for the benefit of people.

He thought, “I understand that the best actions any where come through dedicated inspection and timely rectifications. Intentional neglect and non implementation may escape one watchful eye but not the second one so easily! So, I’ll keep repeated checks at various points of all Plan implementations so that a minimum ten Officials on duty will inspect, assess the required parameters and suggest immediate corrective actions if deviations however minor or at whatever corner are seen existing….Having backed by such a rigid procedure and all inspections being recorded properly with the signatures and stamps of the inspectors on all relevant papers, no deviation in plan implementation can go unnoticed easily and that way alone ultimately I can ensure the best for people within the allowed deficiencies!”

Without further discussing the proposal with his Minister, the King straight away had gone ahead and implemented the schemes, identified well trained men to inspect all procedures followed, suggest corrective actions and record all….Further, he decided to inspect all records himself at the final stage for any lapse on the behalf of inspectors….

Days passed…The King’s Plans were through instantly and it was really a joyous situation!  He was proud that he could thus control all the Programs effectively.... Further, days passed….

In time any thing rusts….And this was no exception! The King found that slowly the quality of life of people was back to the earlier times except for a few improvements here and there….He was totally astonished and was really clueless not knowing how it could have happened…..

Finally, he was forced to discuss the whole matter with the Minister. The wise Minister quickly made certain enquiries, came back to the King and said, “Your Highness! No doubt the idea is great had it been implemented in true spirit. That way no deviation would have been there….But time always brings in ways to get out of these imposed procedures as lethargy, greed and authority in an individual encourage that. Thus any System soon rots!”

He paused and continued, “Sir! After a while of introduction of this strict discipline, certain procedure had set in the System, where the papers would simply be prepared and signed in a routine way as you as an Authority are seeing only the papers….There is such a nexus among the Authorities that some of the signatures which have become too many are being simply written by hand by an expert there in these matters and the entire procedure is being cut short. Unfortunately, Your Majesty had not thought of this happening…. Ultimately, here the paper work alone is perfect but the rest is same!”

Time and Tide wait for None!

Once a man got into a problem; not a small one but really a serious problem! Sometimes, it happens in life and it takes a lot of time to recover….A number of friends and well-wishers of him enquired on phone immediately and consoled him. A few visited him at his place and stayed there for a day….

A close friend of him who came to know of this a bit late as he was away at that point of time, dashed to his place the moment he came back and heard of the difficulty. The man met him at the entrance, greeted and offered him to sit in his living room. They both were silent for a while. Subsequently, the man himself started enquiring a few welfare issues of his friend and was simultaneously concentrating on a few important works of his. He thus appeared not much worried about the difficulty he faced and was not looking as if he faced such a serious problem! The friend got astonished at this because he thought that the man would have broken down at that point of time. After a while he could no more hold those feelings in himself and straight away asked the man how he was keeping so cool having faced such a difficult situation….

The man smiled and said, “Dear! I know that the problem I got into is really a serious one and it is a big pain in life. But there is a much bigger problem ready to strike me at this point of time. And if I don’t take care of it now, soon I have to face that and its magnitude is going to be many times the magnitude of the present one!”

The friend was dumb stuck not knowing exactly what a bigger problem could be there for him other than what he was having….

The man continued, “If I stop doing my normal activities destined to be done at this point of time without a deficiency and sit worrying, the effects of ‘non doing’ of the same in the right way and in the right time soon accumulate and become mountainous issues....And to tell you frankly, how can I face those problems later? So, there is no time in front of me sitting and crying over spilt milk as time and tide wait for none and life goes on whether we like it or not....The best way in this situation is to get up in the earliest time, refresh and start doing the necessary activities to save from these impending perils of future and thus make way for true peace in coming up life. Here, there is no other choice in front of any one if seen in true perspective!”